Random Ramblings

Hello Sweetest Bloggie Friends!

I'm not even sure where to start, as I have completely lost track of time since my last post.  Continually, I ask myself "where does the time go"?  And, I've yet to find the answer.  So, after a long, industrious day of domestic bliss I am sitting with my tootsies up in an effort to catch up.

Lately, I have been organizing the nest and making some efforts to rid our home of things that we no longer need.  I've sifted through drawers, closets, cabinets and you name it!  Whew, its exhausting, but feels super, duper good to have passed along things to others who can make use of them.  I had a rule when cleaning out my closet....if I had not worn it in the past 2 years then it had to go!  Let's just say I had mountain of items to pass along, but oh the extra room in my closet is delicious!

Banana Bread
Other than that, I have been surfing the net for recipes and trying my hand at some new and some old favorites.  One that I'll share is for Banana Bread.  Use those almost extinct bananas and turn them into a little piece of heaven on the tongue!

Recipe:  by Paula Deen

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature

1 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

3 ripe bananas, mashed

Preheat the oven to 350. Grease a 9×5 loaf pan. In a mixing bowl, combine the butter and sugar; mix well. Add the salt, eggs, vanilla, flour, baking soda, baking powder and bananas. Mix well. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 50 minutes.

*Side note:  I had to cook the bread for an hour, as I used a glass loaf pan.  Use the toothpick test (insert toothpick and if it comes out clean its done) and you will know when its done.  This bread is yummy!

Little Bunny News

Little Bunny will officially be 27 weeks tomorrow!  I continue to thank God every day for this miracle and take not one second for granted.  The anxiety can often be overwhelming, but I do my best to live in the moment and be grateful.  He/She is super active and I love feeling the kicks, squirms and random movements. 

We visited Dr. D. for the glucose test and got a thumbs up on testing negative for gestational diabetes.  I breathed a deep sigh of relief, as I'm ever grateful for these results.  Dr. D. continues to be such an amazing Dr. and I thank God for her too.  She never rushes her patients, answers all questions and has the gift of making her office feel like home...so different from the large group where I was once a patient. 

During our last appointment Dr. D. measured my bump and commented that it was growing.  She took the time to show me exactly where my uterus was and helped me feel the top.  Then, she listened to Little Bunny's heart rate and it was loud and strong and is still hovering in the low 140's.  I have to admit I am now growing very curious as to gender, but gladly await the surprise. 

I continue to feel good and am experiencing more prominent bouts of round ligament pain, but nothing that isn't tolerable.  Also, reflux has made its debut, which is a bummer, but a part of this miracle, so I embrace it and am thankful for Zantac. 

Bump Notes

The bump is growing and I am so behind on pictures.  So here are a few to catch up....

25 Weeks

Rocking the belted bump!

26 Weeks

Random Ramblings

Bring on the Gummies!

How do you know you are loved?  When your precious friend sends you a care package with a 6lb bag of Gummy Bears!  I laughed so hard when I opened the package and thank you from the bottom of my heart.  How incredibly thoughtful....and her Hubby found them while shopping :)  So SWEET, literally!

Hold Load of Yumminess!

Snow-fabulous!

Yep, this is the deep South, home of Elvis and land of the Blues, but lately its been blanketed in cotton candy SNOW!  Well, until Friday when a heat wave hit and we basked in 67 degrees of sunshine!  Crazy!

Guilty Pleasure

Yep, I admit it, I'm guilty!  This morning I found myself sucked into watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  What?  I still can't believe it.  I've only watched 3 episodes, but boy oh boy are these women intense.  I'm incredibly guilty of indulging in the fabulosity...not so much in them, but in the fashion and jewels.  Holy Moly, it's like Vogue on steroids!
All I can say is Hummm....I'm not a fan of reality TV, but when I watched I was left speechless.  Do women really behave like this? 

Sweet Moments

Hubby kissing my tummy and telling Little Bunny that He/She is the love of our lives....cue the tears!

Hubby has been reading the book Guess How Much I Love You to Little Bunny at bed time.  The story is my absolute favorite and the inspiration behind our nursery...which I have actually started working on.  I'm making little strides each week on the design and will share when I have some things ironed out.  My friend Jo Jo has been my support system through this process, holding my hand each step of the way and reminding me of the perfectionist and planner that I am, urging me to prepare for our baby.  I'm thankful for her.

photo courtesy of Amazon.com

Sweet Hubby sorting all the laundry!  Sounds like nothing, but I appreciated it so much today when I simply had to just empty sorted baskets into the washer.  It really is about "the little things".

Funny of the Week

Hubby pouring over a school directory, lent to us by a friend, in search of names for our baby.  I watched as he gazed at the book and then took a legal pad out of his brief case and began adding his favorites to what looked like a growing list.  He has "the list" under lock and key and shooed me away!  I suppose he will reveal his list when he's ready.  Love it!

Faith Notes

I believe that there is an explanation for everything, so, yes, I believe in miracles. 
 ~Robert Brault

Have a wonderful week!  God Winks to all ;)
xoxo

It's an Emotional Process

Happy Sunday Sweetest Bloggie Friends,

It's a quiet morning and the end of a busy week and I'm sitting here snuggled up in my cozy bed, decaf vanilla latte in hand.  I can certainly say this has been quite a week filled with many things to check off the "To Do" list, which seems to be ever growing, but accomplishments were made. 

As I made my way through the week many thoughts faded in and out of my mind.  The first was the sadness that I felt for a fellow blogger who has been struggling with infertility for some time now.  Recently, she faced another pregnancy announcement, that of a fellow infertile, only to learn of the announcement second hand and not from the "friend" herself.  The news was crushing, as she'd championed this woman along in her journey and this individual didn't even give her the courtesy of an email, but allowed her to be completely blind sighted.  As I read I wondered "who does this"?  Who leaves a fellow infertile in the dust only to indulge in ones self?  Those thoughts bother me and brought about great reflection.

When I started this blog I was immersed in the pain of losing a child.  Not only had I lost the baby I had waited so long for, but I had lost all dreams and aspirations I had for this child.  So, in an attempt to repair myself I started blogging.  This blog would serve as my journal of emotions and thoughts as I grieved and began TTC again.  Thus, "Life, Love and Pursuit of Our Fairytale" began.

While blogging I received so much love and support while we dealt with repeated failed cycles, transition from OB to RE and a battery of test and the revelation of my borderline FSH level.  Fellow bloggers stood by me and supported me and championed me along through the worst days of my life.  In return I tried to do the same.  I supported fellow infertiles as well as those who were adopting or those who had conceived.  It was important to me that I continued to support each of these people, despite my own disappointments.

To date, I have watched many pass me by with announcements and bring home miracle babies.  I've triumphed for them while my own heart was broken.  Viewed countless pregnancy photos and newborn photos as I smiled through tears.  Oh so happy for them, but admittedly wondering "why not me".  Yet, I knew that through my pain there was also comfort in seeing success.  And I do love a success story, no matter the means by which one achieves her dreams....fertility treatment, adoption, etc..it's ALL GOOD!

Finally, the tide would turn and it became my turn, I was pregnant...it had happened despite the odds.  I've yet to write my complete story, but someday I will.  Honestly, parts of it are just too painful to revisit.  The time had come for me to share my news with those who had passed along so much love and support and I agonized with how to make such an announcement, as I "knew" it would hurt many.

For days I looked for the perfect words....and did lots of soul searching, prayed to God for guidance and finally found the words.  I wanted to tell the Fab 4 first (Nan, Shandrea, Deni and Angie, whom I met in a miscarriage support group), when the time was right for each and did so through a group email.  What I felt was happiness shadowed by tremendous guilt.  That I was moving forward, with uncertainty I might add, but that I had crossed over and they stood in the quicksand had engulfed me for so long.  Later, with a heavy heart, I made the announcement on my blog and did so as compassionately as I could.  It was SO difficult.....

My followers were fabulous and many have stayed to champion me along and I appreciate each of you SO VERY MUCH.  Others abandoned reading and following, as it was just too difficult for them, which I understand, but I won't lie, it does hurt.  I just felt so guilty that I had succeeded while others were still struggling.  I have always been one to invest in others though, as I get that quality from both my Mother and Grannie.   However, I realize we are all built very differently and process things the best we can. 

Ultimately, what I am saying is this...."Do Unto Others".  I was offered this bit of advice early on from my friend Nan.  Treat others as you want to be treated.  Set aside "self for others".  Be careful in how you handle things and always put yourself in anothers shoes.  Offer the same kindness and support that have been offered to you...compassion is everything!  Had the infertile I was speaking of earlier handled her announcement differently and contacted her friend via email or a simple phone call much hurt could have been lessened and there would have been understanding instead of insult to injury.

I'm sure you are ready for me to get off my soapbox now, so I will.....

*Pregnancy Photos and Pregnancy Talk to Follow.  If you opt to skip this part I understand :)

I'll end by sharing that Little Bunny and I hit the 24 week mark this week and will hit 25 weeks on Monday.  The week has flown by.  I continue to struggle with making strides in preparing for Little Bunny, but did manage to look at some nursery items with the support of my dear friend Jo Jo.  And I even managed to cross off "Find Maternity Jeans" off my list, thanks to my precious bloggie friend Lauren.  I tried every pair of jeans that at A Pea in the Pod had in stock!  But, I left with a great pair of dark denim Mavi Jeans.  Can I just say it was money well spent, as they are Super Comfy!

Little Bunny continues to amaze his/her Daddy and I and we love feeling the many movements.  I'm feeling pretty good, despite some hip pain, but nothing that I can't tolerate.  Heart burn and reflux have appeared and although not fun its treatable.  The bump has taken shape and is no longer in hiding, thus making the wardrobe challenging, but thanks to the fabulous advice in the book Bump It Up I'm having fun exploring fashion again.  I talk to Little Bunny all the time and tell him/her how much I love him.....and I pray to god many times each day for granting us this miracle.

Here are a couple of photos.....

Little Bunny and I layered up for our day out in the chilly 19 degree weather.  Please remind me, is this really the South?  My Mother in Law made the wool baret.

This weeks verse:  Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. [Matthew 7:12]

Have a wonderful new week sweet friends and I continue to be thankful for your friendship, support and the love and care you send to me.  God Wink's to All!

Southern Comfort Food!

Southern Comfort Food!

 Okay Bloggie Friends, since the cold weather is holding on here in the South I thought I would post this delish recipe for an alternate version of Chili.  It's super easy and oh so Yummy!!!

White Chicken Chili

Courtesy of:  Paula Deen

Ingredients

1 pound dried navy beans


5 cups chicken stock


4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter


1 tablespoon minced garlic


3/4 cup diced onion


1 1/2 cups chopped green chiles (fresh or canned)


1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, finely chopped


1 tablespoon ground cumin


1 tablespoon dried oregano


1 to 2 teaspoons ground black pepper


1/2 teaspoon white pepper


Pinch red pepper flakes


1/2 bunch cilantro leaves, chopped


Directions


Rinse beans well, cover with cool water, and soak for 2 hours. Drain. Put the beans in large pot with the chicken stock and bring to a boil over high heat.


In a saucepan, heat the butter over medium heat. Add the garlic, onion, and chiles and saute for 5 minutes. Add chile mixture to pot with beans. Add the chicken, cumin, oregano, pepper, white pepper, red pepper flakes, and cilantro. Lower the heat to medium and cook, stirring occasionally, for approximately 1 1/2 hours. Serve with cornbread, if desired. 

***Side note:  Have extra chicken stock on hand, as I needed to add more as it cooked (due to using a gas range).  Also, I used a roasted chicken breast that was already cooked and pulled it off the bone and topped the chili with it....short cut and easy!  You may also top with some shredded cheese and a dallop of sour creme if you like.  And I omitted the red pepper flakes and chiles, as I didn't want it spicy, but the flavor was wonderful without.

Have a fantabulous weekend!  Stay warm, snuggle up and try your hand at this recipe!  It won't disappoint :)  What's your favorite comfort food?  Do tell!

Let It Snow & Comfort Food!

Let It SNOW!

Living in the South we don't see the white stuff that often and oh what a treat!  It started falling around 6pm

and it fell....

and fell...

and fell!

It blanketed all things big and small

It wrapped itself around my plants like spun cotton candy!  The beauty was serene...Can someone remind me this is the SOUTH!  Today's temp was 18 degrees and I'll just say that I'm glad these temps aren't going to hang around very long.  To those of you out East, burrrr!  That nor'easter looks nasty so stay warm and be safe.

The Snow brought about a much needed snow day and I was guilty of lounging in my jammies until noon!  Then it was off to do a little cooking...comfort food that is!  Do you like to cook?  If so, what are your favorites? 

What's Cooking?

Comfort Food!

Potato and Leek Soup

When Hubby and I lived in Belgium soups were a part of all winter meals.  And Potato & Leek was a sure favorite of ours!  It's yummy and if you think you don't like leeks, think again, cause this is a tummy pleaser.

I enjoy cooking when I have time to plan meals and love trying new recipes.

This is what a leek looks like.  It's in the onion family and you will only use the "white part".  Discard the green leafy part.

Sauteing the Leeks

Soup topped with shredded cheddar cheese and sour dough baguette rounds

Recipe:  Potato & Leek Soup

Ingredients: 

1 pound leeks, cleaned and dark green sections removed, approximately 4 to 5 medium


3 tablespoons unsalted butter


Heavy pinch kosher salt, plus additional for seasoning


14 ounces, approximately 3 small, Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and diced small


1 quart vegetable broth


1 cup heavy cream


1 cup buttermilk


1/2 teaspoon white pepper


1 tablespoon snipped chives


Directions


Chop the leeks into small pieces.


In a 6-quart saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the leeks and a heavy pinch of salt and sweat for 5 minutes. Decrease the heat to medium-low and cook until the leeks are tender, approximately 25 minutes, stirring occasionally.


Add the potatoes and the vegetable broth, increase the heat to medium-high, and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and gently simmer until the potatoes are soft, approximately 45 minutes.


Turn off the heat and puree the mixture with an immersion blender until smooth. Stir in the heavy cream, buttermilk, and white pepper. Taste and adjust seasoning if desired. Sprinkle with chives and serve immediately, or chill and serve cold.  *I serve with a sour dough baguette and top with a little shredded cheddar cheese.

Bon Appetit!

Have a Wonderful week and God Wink's to all ;)
xxx

Bond of Infertiles

Happy Sunday Sweetest Bloggie Friends!

As I sit here typing I ask myself  "where has this week gone"?  Time seems to get past me somehow these days....we've had a busy week of playing catch up around here.

The week started with a Dr. visit to check in on Little Bunny and all is well.  My OB continues to be amazing and always takes time to answer my questions, never rushing me and we always have something to laugh about, which is nice.  Dr. D. is so down to earth, kind and compassionate and I thank God for her daily. 

Little Bunny continues to be very active and always leaves me smiling when I feel those little thumps.  I talk to him/her regularly, telling him how much I love him and am in awe of how much he/she is growing and how time is passing.  God has truly blessed our lives and we remain grateful.

I continue to feel good, despite a scare this week with some blurred vision.  The episode only lasted about 15 minutes and happened after I had finished walking very slowly on the treadmill at the gym.  Naturally, it frightened me, but I quickly googled things and was comforted by what I read.  However, I did call Dr. D. to confirm, as she is not a fan of Dr. Google, and she advised more water intake and that what I experienced was normal, given I had no other symptoms.  Whew, the anxiety!

On a happy note, Hubby felt little Bunny move for the very first time this morning.  What an incredible moment!

The Bond of Infertiles

As for other things, hubby and I attended a wedding this weekend and met another sweet couple.  The talk turned to my being pregnant and things unraveled in conversation from there....It was revealed the couple had longed for a child for years, journeyed the road of infertility and treatment to be disappointed again and again.  Until, their miracle baby appeared!  She was 47 and he was near 50.  Their baby boy thrived and was well until pre eclampsia (sp?) hit and precious Clayton made his way into the world at 25 weeks.  He IS a true miracle and survived, is healthy and is now 8 years old.

We exchanged stories and its amazing how you can form an instant bond with a fellow infertile in mere minutes.  Later, we went to dinner together and I feel as if we will remain friends for a long time.  God sure does forge wonderful friendships!

Also, I learned on Friday night that my dear friend Carmen (fellow baby loss mom) is 13w pregnant!  Her road has not been easy either.  Please keep her in your prayers. 

If you are reading and struggling, thinking of how sick and tired you are of reading others success stories and thinking "when is it my turn"?  I hope that you can find HOPE in these 2 stories of others who've walked this journey.  I'll be the first to admit that I felt the same way...bitter and jealous.  That old happy for them, but sad for me song playing in my head like a broken record.  Yep, its normal, so don't feel guilty.  Don't beat yourself up for no longer reading blogs of those who are expecting or those who've crossed over into Motherhood to earthly children or for just being angry.  Trust me, I was very angry that I had been dealt such a raw deal.  Once, I was even jealous of a pregnant friend who'd suffered multiple losses...how twisted is that!  It wasn't that I was not happy for her, but that I was struggeling so badly and couldn't come to terms with my own situation and pinned my disppointment on anyone and anything I could.  Looking back, I understand why I felt like I did, but am ashamed of how I felt.  Talk about guilt.

So, when you are down and experience all those awful feelings toward others remember this.....

Your MIRACLE is just around the corner...continue to BELIEVE.  

I pray that each of you has a wonderful new week.  Each of you remain in my prayers and I pray for your specific needs.  I pray this new year brings about prosperity and health for all!  And a Big CONGRATS going out to my bloggie friend Lori, as she and her husband John recently welcomed their beautiful son Luke into the world.  He's beautiful and such a gift from God.  Much Love sweet friend!

Much Love and Prayers Always,
xxx